


Skeleton Smoochin'

by elegant_fleuret



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Blood, Drabble, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-09
Updated: 2015-11-09
Packaged: 2018-04-30 20:03:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5177903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elegant_fleuret/pseuds/elegant_fleuret
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You had never broken your nose in your entire life. Then Papyrus happened, and now the nurses at the walk-in emergency room knew you by first name. Good thing you had health insurance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Skeleton Smoochin'

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: SO this drabble shit was inspired by an ask that halcyonharlot got from capitolscum over on tumblr and I just fucking DIED at the thought.

This was it.  
  
This was what a successful date ended with.  
  
Sweat droplets had already started to accumulate on the side of his skull before the forty-five steps it took to get to your front door. A few slid down, dripping off the curvature of his lower jaw and he thanked the monster gods that you had your back to him as you turned the key in the lock to your house.  
  
“Tonight was great, thank you for taking me out, Papyrus!” You spun around with a big smile curling up your pretty pink lips, eyelashes batting as you looked up at him. A fleshy little finger came up and scratched at your flushed cheek. No matter how many first dates you went on, the end of the first one always made you a little anxious. The toe of your shoe tapped at the ground. “I’d love to do it again some time.”  
  
Papyrus nodded his skull so violently he thought he might knock himself out, little beads of sweat scattering in the air but somehow missing you entirely. And then, before it could even register in his brain, you had closed your eyes, tilted your head up, puckered your lips. His brain ran a mile a minute trying to recollect every single piece of romance scenes played on MTT (which was a lot).  
  
This was it. This was the moment.  
  
A moment made ten times harder because he hadn’t any lips to pucker back to oh so gently caress yours with. But it had taken him long enough to convince you to actually go out on a date with him, so there was no way he was going to mess this up. Besides, Papyrus was a smart skeleton, he could figure this monster-to-human date ending out without the fleshy bits. He squared his shoulders, trying to stop his bones from rattling in their sockets, locked aim on the middle of your face. Then slammed his entire face into yours.  
  
_CRUNCH._  
  
The solid bone of his skull hit you so hard you thought he had punched you instead of kissed you. Your head snapped back and you stumbled backwards into your front door. Pain exploded in the center of your face, far too much pain for you to even open your eyes to see what the hell just happened. The blood suddenly flooding into your mouth gave you an idea, though.  
  
“OW, OW, OW! MY NOSE! FUCK! MY FUCKING NOSE!” Your voice was shrill, followed by a deep grunt of pain coming from low in your throat as you tried to not cry.  
  
Papyrus watched, frozen in abject terror, as bright red blood poured out of your now crooked nose like a waterfall. In the underworld he had seen Frisk get a couple of scrapes so he knew humans bled. But this? This was damn near horrific. His jaw opened and closed a few times, his heart beating as fast as a humming bird, as you reached up to touch your face. Blood smeared on your fingertips as you traced the sharp right angle confirming that, yes, this big dumb skeleton just broke your fucking nose.  
  
The only reason he snapped back into reality was when you spat out a huge spray of blood, unable to swallow it.  
  
“HUMAN, OH MY GOD I AM SO SORRY!”  
  
“DON’T APOLOGIZE; JUST TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL.”  
  
\----  
The fact that you agreed to go on a second date with him after that was truly a testament to your character.  
  
The deep purple bruising around both your eyes had subsided within a few weeks but it took almost two months before you could get the stint on your nose removed. According to the doctor the skeleton had succeeded in breaking the cartilage of your nose, although thankfully didn’t deviate your septum. You swore he cried more than you did when he accompanied you back to the doctors after the swelling went down so the doctor could crack your nose back into place.  
  
The traumatic experience was one for your dating book, indeed.  
  
The fact that Papyrus had stopped by every single day to check on you, and to apologize, came across more caring than creepy. Eventually you forgave him. Wasn’t his fault he had no skin, it was just who he was.  
  
Papyrus watched intensely as you cooed at your pet cat. The orange furball purred loud under your fingers, twisting his small head to make you scratch him where he wanted you to. The feline population in the underworld was nonexistent for some unknown reason so the skeleton was unsure of what this animal did. But it was cute. When you pulled your hand back from his little head the cat meowed in protest before head butting himself against your knee.  
  
“Aw, my baby wants more love? C’mere you cutie!” Yours hands cupped around the animals head and you planted a few quick kisses against its forehead, which the animal seemed to enjoy. As soon as you let him go, the cat reeled back to head butt against your lips before rubbing the side of its face against yours. Papyrus mulled the act of affection around in his skull for the rest of the time he was at your place.  
  
This time, when you turned to him after walking him over to the front door and you flashed him that smile, he gently knocked his forehead against yours.  
  
“What was that?” you asked, clearly confused by his action.  
  
He bashfully looked at the ground, kicking the carpet of your living room with the toe of his boot. “I wish to show you affection but do not want to cause any more harm to your beautiful, but very brittle, human face.” A gloved hand came up and scratched the back of his skull. He ended up shrugging, unable to explain himself with anything more than, “Your small, hairy baby did it.”  
  
“Aw! That’s so-Papyrus, you’re so cute!” Unable to contain yourself at his adorableness anymore you tossed your hands up to his shoulders, needing to leverage yourself to bump your forehead back against his grinning face.  
  
\---  
Of course, head butting only worked if at least one of you was paying attention.  
  
“Back again?” You gave the nurse at check-in a half-hearted smile, which she really couldn’t see from under the blood stained washcloth you held on your nose. “What was it this time?”  
  
“A slight miscalculation on my part, unfortunately.” Having done this a dozen times already Papyrus didn’t even need to look down at the form to fill out your information. He handed back the clipboard to the nurse, a guilty smile on his face. “At least she’s still conscious this time!”  
  
Ah, yes, last time. A small teasing session turned into a tickle fight and, after one particularly sharp twist to attempt to get out of the skeleton’s grasp, your memory went fuzzy. When you came to, staring up at the white ceiling of your own private room in the walk-in, the doctor explained that you had been hit so hard in the nose you passed out. Papyrus had cracked your face with an over enthusiastic kiss mid-tickle.  
  
The cushion of the waiting room chair let out a small poof as you sat down, waiting for a nurse to see you. Besides you the skeleton stayed standing, his knees shaking with nervous energy that he had every time he brought you here. “Maybe I should invest in a football helmet,” you mused. You brought your free hand up to shield your entire face to mimic the metal face guard.  
  
An embarrassed groan came from Papyrus as he hung his head low. “Curse my unfathomable strength!”  
  
\---  
“Aw, don’t worry about it, Paps. You didn’t even break it this time!”  
  
The skeleton was close to tears, fist balled up in front of his chest as he watched you wash the crusting blood off your chin. Two small cylinders of cotton where stuffed into your nostrils, thin strings hanging out over your mouth. At some point you had added mini tampons to the skeleton’s ever growing first aid kit. They fit perfectly in your nose holes and easily soaked up all your blood.  
  
Papyrus sniffed dramatically, eyeing the middle of your face. Maybe it was the light in the bathroom but he could swear that the angle of your nose had moved a few millimeters to the left. “Why do you even hang out with me? Look at how much pain I cause you!”  
  
“Cause I like you,” you quipped. You removed the wet cloth from your face and reached over to rub it against Papyrus’ forehead. A few spatters of your blood had gotten on him from the blunt force trauma he inflicted on you. It was hard not to laugh. “Stop being a baby, you should be used to this by now. Look at me, I’m not even crying!”  
  
“That’s only because you can’t feel it anymore!”  
  
Your laugh echoed in the bathroom, vibrating against the skeleton’s cheek as you pressed your lips against it in a kiss.  
  
\---  
The easiest way to stop the skeleton from bashing your nose in was for him to actually hold your face when he wanted to kiss you. That way he could clearly line up the trajectory angle of his forehead to softly bump against yours, without even the smallest bit of a chance to break your face again.  
  
_CRUUUNCH._  
  
“ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?”  
  
“I’M SORRY HUMAN, I COULDN’T STOP MYSELF!”  
  
The nurse at the walk-in would have to erase the ‘three month’ mark on the ‘Number of Days Since the Skeleton Broke Your Nose’ chart they had started up for fun.Faintly you wondered, as Papyrus led you out of the house to his car, who had won the betting pool that time.


End file.
